Transman

these tits
         are a man’s tits
and this clit
         is a man’s clit
this soft skin
         my narrow shoulders
                  my tiny feet
                         my childlike hands
                  belong to a man
a proud man
a man who has to truly
become
a man
unlike most males

the thought of having a penis
kept me awake at night
in a hot sweat
                you know, the good kind.
a cold sweat when reminded
that real men
have dicks

the only thing that comes to mind now is
i beg to differ

when I grow up i want to be a man
that changes the definition of masculinity
that makes womyn feel safe when alone in the dark
that shows that love
compassion
kindness
towards every living being
is more manly
than the circumference of my biceps

i want to be a man who behaves as though he knows
what it’s like
to be a womyn
i want to be a man who repeatedly attempts
shattering
this glass ceiling
a man who is not defined by how
well
       hung
i am
but by how many hugs
i give

it’s
     a process
            though

a sliding scale
that on most days
the bad outweighs the good
with nothing to put on the other side but
a silver lining

like a panty lining
the last resort
the moment when you find a bit of cash in your pocket
when you thought you had none at all
at birth the nurses didn’t mix me up with another baby

instead
god
the gods
the powers at be
the universe
decidedly gave me the wrong body

not mistakenly
purposefully
so that i
could grow
into the best man
i could ever be

– Ira Dalton Gray

Here is Transman being performed by Ira with an introduction, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyM7WBsxz0A.

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